The Benefactor
by MsJonesKing
Summary: A multi-chapter story from Alanna's POV as she reacts to edict that she can't "interfere" with Keladry's training and finds ways to help the first girl to openly try for her shield since Alanna revealed her identity.
1. No Interference

Alanna the Lioness didn't think she'd ever been so furious with Jon. No, she thought with vexation, King Jonathon. He wasn't _Jon_ to her at the moment. Not even when they'd had their fight in the desert had she been so vexed. That had been personal, and they were younger then. It had hurt, but at least there had been a semblance of normalcy to it. How else could she have expected for that relationship to end? She snorted at the absurdity of the idea of a marriage to Jon back then and realized that this - THIS was why she could never have been his queen.

How could he?

Her inward screams ricocheted inside her mind with the ferocity of purple lightning, and she realized that if she didn't rein her temper in soon, the stables she was occupying while saddling her mount would erupt in flames.

She leaned up against sturdy horseflesh as her gelding whickered anxiously. How could Jon throw away everything she had worked for like that? Had he forgotten how long she had dreamed of another girl trying for her shield? Did he not remember those emotional moments she had shared with him and Thayet over her concerns that no other girl would dare to try? That no other noble family would let her? After all, her own family had been duped. Who was to say the Tortallan nobility would actually let their daughters choose their own paths. Only last month Buri had visited her and George at the Swoop and told them about all the new recruits: the boys _**and**_ the girls. Alanna was happy for her friend. Of course she was, but George had held her hand under the table with a reassuring squeeze every now and then, and she knew that he understood. She was envious. Alanna mounted and clucked as she and the horse headed out of the stables with a wave to Stefan and away from the palace. Her head hurt even in the beautiful weather. How desperately she wanted youngsters like Buri had to mentor. Young women who would look at her not as some far away idol but as a teacher who could help them as they found their own way.

Well, she scoffed to herself, glancing over her shoulder. That wasn't likely to happen now.

Not only was Jon effectively going back on his word by allowing that conservative dog of a training master to put the girl on probation, but he was also forbidding Alanna to interact with her. She seethed again letting her breath hiss out between her teeth and kicked the gelding into a gallop. She knew Wyldon and she knew the court. She knew _boys_. This new girl - Keladry wasn't it? - would have no one on her side, and she'd be tormented. Alanna was sure of it, and her heart hurt at the injustice of it all. Her chance to mentor the next female knight ripped away from her, and her friend, her King was _compromising_ with Wyldon of Cavall.

Soon, the palace was no longer in view, and Alanna had escaped the bustle of Corus. Normally, she would have taken the time to visit her other friends in the capital, but in her haste to arrive to discuss the fate of the new girl page, she hadn't announced to anyone she was coming. And in her anger over the resulting situation, she hadn't felt like announcing to anyone that she was leaving. She let her horse slow to a trot - there was no need to wear him out because of her own irritation - and thought about the Goddess as she followed the coastal road to Pirate's Swoop.

Was she aware of this injustice being done to one of her own? Perhaps this girl wasn't god-touched like Alanna, but surely her desire to be a knight was no less worthy?

 _I am well aware my daughter._

Alanna shivered involuntarily as the baying of wolves in that clear voice rang through her heart. Then, she blushed. "Why are you allowing it then?" she whispered under her breath. In her innermost parts, she realized that insolence with the great gods was never a good idea, but she wasn't feeling particularly gracious today.

 _Keladry of Mindelan has her own destiny to follow._

"So you mean her to succeed then?"

 _That choice is for her to make and her alone._

Alanna scowled at the pommel of her saddle. She was well aware that the gods' power was limited when human choice entered into the mix, but she rather thought that the Mother was being purposefully vague. This conversation told her nothing she didn't already know.

 _You yet have a role to play in her life, my daughter. Do not let your anger blind you._

As the baying faded, Alanna noted the finality of her Mother's last comment and resigned herself to obscure suggestions. She was still furious, and she still wanted to help the girl. That is, if she even decided to come under the unfair conditions set by Wyldon and her king. If Keladry of Mindelan saw, as Alanna did, that the situation was ridiculous, she may decide such a venture unworthy of her time. Alanna slumped in the saddle and continued onto the Swoop. Maybe George would be home from his latest mission and he could hold her as the storm raged to a calm within her.


	2. Bruise Balm

Snow blew outside the Swoop's walls and Alanna snuggled more deeply into the quilted jacket she wore. Wherever her children had inherited their love of snow, it certainly hadn't been from her line, she thought testily. The last several months she had made it her mission to avoid Corus and all members of the royal family, although she had briefly spoken to Thayet in the fire. The beautiful queen had been just as put out about the situation as Alanna, but also saw it from the ruler's perspective of needing pick their battles carefully. Thayet had frowned while giving her explanation, and then apologized to Alanna as a friend for the way the whole event had unfolded. She had reassured Thayet that while she still scorned Jon for compromising and detested Wyldon of Cavall for his mere existence, she did understand. A bit.

However, she had moped. And after stopping home to see George, she had gone to mope where she moped best: with the Bazhir. Although the tribes were now fully united with the kingdom, she still felt a degree of separation when she was among her tribe. She could work with the shamans and chase bandits and not feel too out of place. After she had admitted to herself that she was sulking, Alanna had gone east to the Tyran border to assist with whatever knight's work was available in that region. Upon wrapping up duties there, she met her friend Raoul of Goldenlake and Malorie's Peak in the field with 3rd Company of the King's Own and rode with them for a time enjoying the bawdy camaraderie of the men.

She had not intended to think about the girl at the palace, if she had actually come, how she was doing, what she was like. She had gone so far as to ask George to keep up with the girl, but not to pass the information along to her yet; she just couldn't bear it. Her husband had grinned crookedly, and reassured her that "everything will be fine, lass." But Raoul, with that mischievous twinkle in his eye had informed her only last week that the girl had come and that she was big. Alanna had nearly swallowed her tongue at the mention of Keladry in the middle of their casual meeting at the camp desk in his tent.

"You know, Alanna, she promises to be quite the horsewoman."

"Oh?" Alanna sipped her cider - Raoul didn't keep spirits but she thought she might have appreciated some of that old ale from the Dancing Dove right about now.

"Yes, we saw her, and the other first year pages, take their chances at tilting Wyldon's practice dummy a month or so ago. She's riding a massive gelding - some flower name I think. She didn't make the target but she did manage to stay on the horse. And that was impressive in itself. Young Sargent Domitan actually won money off of her. The rest of the squad bet for sure she'd fall off the beast." And so, without her asking, Raoul passed along everything he had heard about Keladry of Mindelan. She smiled into her cup thinking that George would be able to flesh out the details later and blessed Raoul for knowing that she was finally ready to hear about her would-have-been protégé. After that, the Own had traveled farther north to the Scanran border, and Alanna had returned home to visit her loved ones. George was returning from a mission north himself, and she realized it had been too long.

After hugs from her children and updates from the staff, Alanna had retreated to her room and waited for George who was expected any moment now. Finally the door burst open.

"Hello, my laddy buck." She said softly as he swept her into his arms. She heard the children giggle from the doorway before the followed George in to join a familial embrace. She sighed contentedly and let some more of her anger seep away in the sweetness of homecoming. It wasn't until much later that she admitted to George, somewhat sullenly, that she finally understood Jon's predicament.

"But I still want to help her, George! I've heard she's getting into fights! What if she's being bullied?" Alanna tugged her earlobes distractedly as they sat in George's study after the children had been put to bed.

"Ah, I don't believe she's been exactly bullied, lass." George answered with a grin before sitting back and propping his feet on his desk and pulling her into his lap. She flopped into it willingly, and looked up at him.

"What do you mean, George? Raoul told me recently that she's been called into Wyldon's study with bruises more times than anyone in the last years of Wyldon's tenure! There's no other explanation. What have you heard?"

"I believe, my love, that she is the one trying to teach the bullies a lesson."

Alanna gasped as George winked at her.

"Are you serious?"

"Oh indeed. The palace servants' quarters are fairly bursting with the news. It seems that breaking up fights between her and a rather nasty crowd of older pages has become a regular happening."

Alanna grinned and settled back into her husband's chest feeling much more content. With this new information and Raoul's combined, it sounded like Keladry of Mindelan had spunk.

George cleared his throat. "I have a suggestion if you're willing to go the less obvious route."

She shifted to mock glare into his hazel eyes. He often jokingly accused her of being too direct. She supposed that was the difference in their lines of work though.

"And what did you have in mind, rogue?"

"What about anonymous gifts? Things she might need." George cleared his throat. "While the Mindelan fief is in favor with the crown, they have many other - ah - financial burdens shall we say besides supplying a page daughter."

Alanna thought for a moment while George hummed above her. He knew better than to rush her decision making process. She thought about what the Goddess had told her and realized that this was the best she could really do with the cards dealt her.

"Alright," she finally muttered. She had to admit, she really didn't like to be so underhanded in her assistance. She wanted to mentor the girl, not have her solve a mystery. "I'll prepare something for midwinter. You'll take care of it?"

"Aye, lass." George assured her as he kissed her nose.

Snuggling in, Alanna had a sudden thought.

"George, has your information said anything about just how damaged she's looking after these fights with bullies?"

He chuckled ruefully. "I believe the common line of you should see the other bloke applies well, and it seems she's colorful enough after the fact."

Alanna smiled to herself. Bruise balm for Midwinter it was then. She'd start a fresh batch tomorrow.


	3. Author's Note

**Author's Note:**

 **I've just realized I made a huge mistake in the ordering of the gifts. The belt knife from Raven Armory came during Kel's first week as a probationary page. The bruise balm came at midwinter that year, and the tilting saddle arrived at the end of her probationary term. So, now I have to figure out a way to incorporate the dagger into the story. As I've written it, Alanna doesn't send anything until Midwinter, so I may have to rewrite the second chapter completely! I'll have something new up by the end of the week!**

 **Thanks!**

 **MsJonesKing**


	4. The Knife

**Since I had already started with the idea, I was so glad someone mentioned it in a review. "George took care of it on the sly." As someone else thought the plot point plausible, I'm rolling with it!**

Baron Myles of Olau sank farther into his armchair as he looked across at his son-in-law and his second-in-command as the Realm's spymaster. George's network in the southern part of Tortall had brought news of emigrating Carthakis and unrest as Emperor Kaddar solidified his power base. Now that business was out of the way, however, Myles poured a glass of wine for himself and his companion and asked the question that had been on his mind since last month.

"How's Alanna doing, George?"

Baron Cooper merely lifted his mouth in a half smile and took a sip. Myles sighed, shifted his bulk further into the chair, and replied.

"Yes, well, I supposed that's not the correct question, is it?"

"She'll recover, Myles."

At those words, Myles saw George's twinkle, and he remembered not for the first time that what made this man so effective as his colleague was his common (or rather uncommon) life before the barony. While he enjoyed playing chess with Alanna, his games with George were matches that lasted for a week if not longer because of their work.

Every year, he bemoaned to young pages the pitfalls of the code of chivalry, and more often than not he saw confusion staring back at him before it was swept away in a blaze of fealty and honor. Knights like Alanna - like Wyldon of Cavall for that matter - saw the Code of Chivalry as a straightforward direction on life. Myles might be considered jaded by his cohort, but he saw as George did that the code only accounted for a small portion of the Realm's - the world's - populace. Not everyone lives their lives by the rules and their lack of obeisance makes ripples in the pond for those who do. He wasn't trying to tell these would-be knights that the code was wrong or that they were wrong to attempt a life of chivalry. He wanted them to see that not everyone was honorable and not everyone was straightforward. Those differences showed in chess.

Myles thought about the new crop of pages arriving and the ones who were now second, third, and fourth years. Some of them could bend. He could see their confused but contemplative faces during his lectures. Others were perfunctorily interested in the history of the Realm. Still others sat rigidly with small frowns tugging at their foreheads. More often than not, these were the ones whose families he was already acquainted with through his position as Spy Master - those that didn't cotton to the monarchs' progressive politics. He supposed it wasn't a crop any different than that of the past ten years, but that there were certainly troublemakers that would cause problems for Keladry of Mindelan, and Myles said as much to George.

"Aye."

After George agreed, Myles took another sip before venturing, "Alanna will cool down, and when she does…"

"She'll want to find _some_ way to help." George finished for him. Myles nodded. Both he and George knew Alanna, sometimes better than she knew herself. It was the result of a fiery temper and actions spurred by emotions in the heat of the moment. It was what made Alanna so passionate, so driven, so uniquely her-and an open book to those closest to her heart.

"I've purchased a dagger on my lass's behalf."

"Raven Armory then?" Myles queried in return. He knew it was the finest in Corus, and Alanna and George's favorite stop in town.

George inclined his head in response. "I'll see that she receives it when she begins. Quietly of course." His mouth tipped at the corners ironically as Myles chuckled.

They sat in silence a while longer.

"Alanna will find her way." Myles smiled to himself.

"Of course." George grinned in response. "My lass always does."


	5. The Saddle

**Since I haven't updated in a while, let me start by apologizing for that. Secondly, I am not Tamora Pierce and can't claim her characters or the main plot arch. Thanks for reading! Feedback is definitely welcome.**

Alanna had been patient all through the miserable winter that seemed to have dragged reluctantly into spring. She had sent the bruise balm to be delivered at Midwinter through one of George's agents and trusted that Page Keladry (because Alanna refused to even think of her as "probationer Keladry") would find it useful. Myles had mentioned that his young pupil did look to be in less pain even if she was often colorful from her crusade against the bullies. The root of her bitterness hadn't really gone away, however, and Alanna often found herself brooding on how she couldn't write Keladry to simply ask her if she liked the bruise balm and if she needed more.

As time had passed, she had begun to contemplate more helpful gifts for Keladry, but Alanna couldn't settle on anything. Myles had told her that her fear of heights had become a source of much jeering among some of the pages from more conservative families and a source of more work from Lord Wyldon. Alanna could think of nothing helpful in this regard short of an amulet, and if that didn't break the rules of her "no interference, no magic" policy with a girl page, she didn't know what did. Besides, from the way Myles described the situation and Keladry herself, Alanna rather thought that the girl would refuse to utilize an amulet in conquering her fears. Alanna hoped that like herself, Keladry would work all the harder to prove herself and be a better page. She only hoped it would be enough. Alanna had a very real fear, though, that it simply wouldn't be enough.

Alanna was sure that Wyldon would refuse to let Keladry stay no matter how well she performed this year. He was wooden, and although she respected his military skill and his willingness to sacrifice his own life for the King and Queen's children, she seriously doubted his ability to look at the situation rationally. She complained about this to George once in a letter from the road. As she didn't know if George was in residence at the Swoop or not, she didn't expect an answer for weeks if not months. Alanna vented and sent the letter off only to forget about it altogether after a week. She could admit to herself that she wasn't particularly interested in George's response to her diatribe since the point of the letter had been to clear away some of the frustration clinging in her mind even after her meeting with the Goddess.

It was only after a skirmish with spidrens outside of Trebond when she had leant her services to Coram, that she began to feel more settled. She and Coram, had just sat down together to have a cup of cider. Well, cider for her, ale for Coram. Rispah was in the yard teaching her oldest children the intricacies of knife work, and Alanna was relishing the feeling she often had after battling immortals and healing villagers– bone-weary satisfaction. She was half between meditation and a nap when Coram cleared his throat and gave her the same side eye he'd given her for years since he had first discovered her scheme to become a knight of the realm.

She waited impatiently knowing that he would say what he had on his mind in his own time. Coram had never been eloquent, but his words always had their intended effect, she thought wryly as she remembered when she had almost quit the entire endeavor as a page.

"Do you know your mother hailed from Tasride?"

Alanna felt like rolling her eyes at Coram, but she knew she was too old for such petulance. Still, she hadn't thought they were going to be talking about Lady Marinie tonight. Alanna knew that Coram had thought the world of her mother, but she couldn't understand the relevance.

"I think you mentioned it once or twice since I was a lass." Alanna managed to keep the sarcasm in check – barely. She felt defensive and on-edge a good deal of the time lately. She thought it was understandable, but she sensed that Coram now as a Baron in his own right would be just as no-nonsense in his approach to her as he had been when in her service.

"Well, you remember she had a brother, yes?" Alanna did remember this faintly and nodded although her uncle's name was escaping her now. She hadn't been close to her family at Tasride since her father had isolated himself and his children within Trebond and secluded himself from all that reminded him of Marinie after her death. She nodded. "Well, he had a son as well." Coram paused to take a swig of cider as Alanna rifled through her brain to drag up information on her cousin at Tasride. He must have been slightly older than her, surely. "Well he was killed by spidrens." Alanna wondered if Coram was reminiscing now because of their battle today. "But he had a son himself." Maybe not then.

The lioness who was not known for her patience found herself beginning to plot how she would beat Coram in the training yards tomorrow for putting her through this genealogy lesson.

"What's your point, Coram?"

"That son? Your mother's great nephew? I heard from his mother recently."

"Oh? I didn't know you were such a gossip, Coram." He gave her a steely look that had her blushing and ducking into her cider cup. It didn't matter how old she was, Coram was still one of her father figures and he still commanded some respect – all the more for standing behind her for so long.

"Well, the boy's name is Seaver, and he's a page at the palace." He paused as Alanna got an inkling of where this conversation was heading. "It's his first year actually."

Now Alanna was interested. "Oh?"

And Coram proceeded to tell her all about the boy's experiences at the castle: life under Lord Wyldon, sponsorship by the crown prince, and bullies. Alanna started to drum her fingers on the chair urgently and didn't stop until Coram smiled, and said, "Oh yes, evidently he's part of a study group that patrols the halls to break up hazing. Evidently one of the first year pages interfered when he was being taught a lesson by some of the older 'uns, and now he's dedicated to the cause. Let me think, who was it?" Alanna knew, or thought she knew, but she wanted to hear it from Coram. "Oh yes, it was the new girl. Keladry wasn't it?"

Alanna sighed. So, Keladry hadn't just been crusading against bullies, but she now had a following of other likeminded young pages who were assisting her in the cause. This news _was_ interesting. And suddenly, she remembered what the Goddess had told her: Keladry had a path to follow. It wouldn't be like Alanna's, and she needed to be at peace with that. Alanna settled back in the chair as Coram watched her steadily.

"She doesn't sound a whit like me."

"Other than that she's a lass who's bound and determined?"

Alanna smirked at him. "Big, calm, even-tempered." She cocked her head to the side while she thought a bit. "A natural leader." Coram laughed. He knew just as well as she did that she was bred a lone knight. She worked with others but not for long.

"Nothing wrong with that, lass." Alanna wasn't sure if he was referring to her abilities or Keladry's.

"No, not at all." It made Alanna understand though what the Mother had meant. Whatever was in store for Keladry (unfair or otherwise), it would forge her into an effective leader. She just needed to have faith and do the little she could do.

After finishing her cider, she bid Coram goodnight, and then she began her trek back to the Swoop in the morning.

Once home, she made preparations again to help Keladry of Mindelan. She knew now that it didn't matter what happened. Keladry would succeed. She was sure of it – well as sure as she could be. So she made enquiries about the flowery-named horse Raoul had mentioned and learned that Kel had a strange affection for the rude beast (as Stefan lovingly called him). She also learned that tilting was once again a major part of the training and winced. She despised jousting herself, but she knew the value of the exercise at least. She also knew the value of the right equipment, and so she commissioned an elegant and practical tilting saddle. Now she just had to bide her time and wait for the right moment.

A week later just as summer was about to really begin, a messenger burst into the yard at the Barony with a hastily scribbled note from George which read:

New developments.

Wyldon will allow her to stay. Will be announced in the next week.

Send J. back with any items.

Love, G

Alanna's lips pulled into an exultant smile and she whooped triumphantly before making her final adjustments, loading Jayus up with the saddle, and instructing him to deliver it to Stefan, posthaste.

Kel had done it. She would continue on, and Alanna would continue on with her.


	6. The Exercises

**It's been forever since I updated this story, and I'm so sorry for that. I love it when people update regularly so I should meet my own standards. Please let me know your thoughts!**

 **I'm not Tamora Pierce and I claim none of her characters or any part of her plot. Reminder: this is the point at which Alanna sends her the balls for arm exercises.**

The village headman was so red in the face that Alanna had begun to consider her duties as a healer and not her duty as the King's Champion. The latter, however, was what had brought her here. So, the fact that the man looked as if his heart might stop at any moment because of the temper he was in was not a priority. What had caused his unfortunate, but probably routine, lapse in civility was vastly more important to her especially since he was surrounded by a group of elders just as livid as he. And what had caused it was griffins.

Alanna sighed to herself. Her role as champion had led her to encounter many of the noble creatures since her first experience when Veralidaine Sarrasri was new to the realm and not yet regarded as the Wild Mage. Thinking back on that nerve-wracking first meeting with a pair of the haughty creatures, she reflected that not much had changed when it came to soothing the ruffled feathers of the villagers as well as the griffins. Luckily Daine was off talking to the griffins as she conferred with the locals. Conferred was perhaps too soft a word though.

"We want them gone, Sir Knight!" The headman blustered on as he had for the last five minutes since she'd announced why she had come. "We don't wan' no beasts helpin' themselves to our herds nor our children neither!"

"As I have told you, Master Gumpin, the Wildmage is explaining the terms and conditions of peace in Tortall to the griffins as I speak with you." She ignored him as he took an audibly deep breath and overrode him as he attempted to interrupt her. "Our past dealings with griffins have shown that they are willing for peace and do not wish to meet with you anymore than you do them." A disbelieving frown met her words. She really did wish the griffins would abstain from their warning flyovers upon arrival. "Besides," she continued. "Griffins are happy to eat out of the sea. They really don't enjoy the taste of your livestock."

She hadn't meant that to sound personal, but evidently it had been taken as such. She heard a woman in the back hiss under her breath: "well, I never." Alanna barely refrained from rolling her eyes. Instead she reassured Master Gumpin that should any immortal breach peace, their seaside village would of course be defended as any part of the realm would be; he had her word. Either he was tired of yelling or he had seen sense. Alanna wasn't sure which and frankly she didn't care. This conversation was an old routine for her, and she recognized her cues.

"Before I go, I'd like to remind you all of the effects of griffin presence and the consequences of taking an unnatural interest in their young."

* * *

"And then, when I reminded them all that no one would be able to tell a lie in such close proximity to the creatures, they all about swallowed their tongues." Alanna snickered as she recounted the entire episode to Daine as they journeyed together away from the village. On her way to return to the capital, Daine would leave Alanna after a day's ride while Alanna continued on to Port Caynn.

Daine grinned wolfishly at her in response, and Alanna was reminded of all that had passed since her first lengthy trip with her companion. No longer the same timid girl who kept as much of herself hidden from her fellows as possible, Daine had a self-assurance and a maturity that had come from honing her powers in the last war. Still willing to stick up for the griffins, and other creatures, Alanna reminded herself wryly. That would never change, and she was glad for it. Although she was younger than Alanna, Daine was often the voice of her conscience and moral compass. Alanna enjoyed their friendship immensely. Like George, Daine had the amazing capacity to reorient and reground Alanna when she became too entrenched in her own head. It was either her unique perspective or her straightforward way of speaking, Alanna figured. Either way, those qualities plus her humor made her a woman more than worth knowing.

Now her friend laughed merrily. "I firmly believe that two-leggers just can't help lying, Alanna. It's in their nature. They're too complex for anything else."

Alanna remembered the times she had lied. Her attempt for her shield sprang to mind immediately.

"For example," Daine continued innocently, "if I were to ask you if know anything about the pages currently training at the palace, you would undoubtedly tell me you don't." Alanna thought she should have expected this sooner or later. Of all her close friends, Daine was the only one who had kindly refrained from uttering even a peep about page training or Lord Wyldon or Keladry of Mindelan during the past year. She wasn't sure why the Wild Mage had kept her own counsel, but Alanna had appreciated. For all that her friends had been well meaning and helpful in their desire to keep her updated and reassured, there were times when she'd wanted to pretend that she wasn't being kept from the first girl page since her knighting because of politics. It was like watching a battle go completely wrong in her head – heartbreaking because she'd fought to make it possible and now she couldn't do anything about it. Daine had been one of her refuges. They would meet and talk of work or immortals or archery. Occasionally they would even talk about Numair and his regular proposals as well as Daine's steadily dwindling misgivings. Now, however, it seemed that Daine had changed her mind.

"I suppose," the young brunette continued, "that would try to tell me that you – or your charming baron – don't keep an ear to the ground with a specific page in mind." She grinned more fully, mirth evident in her eyes. "But you can't," she sighed dramatically. "Because of the griffins."

"Youngster, you may have half the kingdom afraid of you, but I'm not one of them."

Daine chuckled in response. "We wouldn't be friends if you were."

"Indeed." Alanna thought for a moment, and then took a deep breath. Daine was one of her dearest friends. She wanted to tell another woman of her venture to help the girl, but all her other friends were too close to the situation. She thought that Buri would understand, but she absolutely did not want to put her compatriot in the position of withholding information from the Queen. "You're right, I can't tell you that at all. Don't tell me you've been biding your time because you wanted to wait for a griffin to be around."

"Of course not!" Daine looked indignant but a little bit sheepish. "I just – I know it was hard. I can't imagine. What if I were forbidden from training someone with wild magic? Obviously that would never happen; it's not the same. But I would have been hurting. And you seemed so on edge last year. Like you would break if things went the wrong way. I don't know Wyldon. Well, I know he's amazing with dogs, and I'll take that as a recommendation, but I also know he doesn't really like Numair or me, and he doesn't really approve of our status in the realm, and while he might thank us for our service in the war, he may never see it as important as what men like him did." She took a breath realizing that she had ramble during her explanation. "I just thought that maybe there was a possibility that he would send Kel home, and I didn't want to have been one to give you false hope." Daine flushed. "I suppose it sounds fair odd now, and you don't need _me_ to spare your feelings of all folks, but-" She stopped when Alanna laid a gloved hand on her arm.

"I appreciate it."

Daine beamed. Alanna cleared her throat.

"So what do you think of her then?"

Daine's smile softened. "Oh Alanna, she's simply wonderful." High praise indeed from Daine. "She has this absolutely magnificent gelding, bless him, that Stefan was so worried about, but she took him! And when she and her friend asked me to work with him, she said nary a peep about changing him. Just that she wouldn't use the spurs and she go easy on the rein. And Stefan says she has. And she has a flock of sparrows. Can you imagine? She came up to the palace regularly all summer long just to feed them and chat a bit. But Mithros, she's tall! It won't be long before she's towering over me I'm sure. Lindhall says she's attentive in lessons though she doesn't talk much." Alanna smiled. Everyone mentioned how reserved and tall the girl page was. Her oldest friends took great delight in pointing out how radically different she was from Alanna herself in those regards. "I did hear she struggled with her bow at first," Daine continued, "but I think she got it sorted quickly enough. Really though, learning to pull those longbows can be a challenge."

"Not for demi-goddesses," Alanna snorted. Daine rolled her eyes.

"You're fair foolish, Lioness, if you think I didn't have to work a long time at building up the strength in my arms to work my bows like I do. Gods-born or not." And Daine continued with her descriptions of Keladry of Mindelan from what she'd seen of her thus far. Alanna was impressed. It truly wasn't often that Daine liked any new two-legger this much without any reserve.

It wasn't until Alanna was tucked in her bedroll that night across the fire from the Wild Mage that she thought about what Daine had said about strengthening her arms. Alanna felt a peace settling over her as she turned to the fire and closed her eyes. She knew just the thing to send her favorite page next.


	7. The Care Kit

**I am not Tamora Pierce, and I claim none of her characters. These two might be a bit out of character, but my husband and I had brainstorming session on what would give such a practical gift more meaning, and I really liked this track.**

The ground rushed to meet Alanna. As she tumbled, a rock bit into her knee and the damp from the ground chilled her shins through her winter layers. Still, she thought as she raised herself from the undignified accidental kneeling, at least it wasn't snowing. Yet.

"I don't think I've seen you so clumsy since you were learning to walk like a lady," Eleni remarked amusedly as she approached Alanna from behind her. "And then you had a reasonable excuse." Already her mother in so many ways, Eleni unveiled the searching gaze to match as she looked Alanna up and down. "What's your excuse this time?"

Alanna brushed away the thought that she could lie to Eleni. Aside from the fact that it probably wouldn't go far at all, she had been much more forthright with this woman about worse quandaries. Besides, it wasn't often she spent time with just Eleni these days. Her adoptive mother an mother-in-law adored her grandchildren and often spent the lion's share of her time at the Swoop with them. Alanna wasn't offended. Sometimes, she had to admit to herself that she missed being mothered by Eleni just a little. It was the reminder of all that her mother by two marriages had done for her that spurred Alanna to be free with her thoughts.

"I'm thinking about her."

"Aly? You know she's just testing her limits. Really the two of you will find your way, dear, I'm sure. It probably just won't happen until later in life. You know, she reminds me so much of George when he was a lad. There was one time-"

"No!" Alanna interrupted, flushing. "The girl page at the palace." Though now she had to wonder if Eleni would consider her a poor mother to Aly. She was thinking more about a child not her own than the one at home who drove her up the wall some days. She loved Aly dearly, and as Eleni did, she saw much of George in their daughter. She should have known one of their little ones would gray her as much as her work did. Just yesterday, she had found young Aly walking the ridgepole of a stable roof for mere practice.

Eleni's head cocked to the left and smiled slowly. "Well yes, I'm sure the two of you will find your way in time as well."

"I just worry about her. She's alone with all of those boys, and you know she'll have questions. Questions I could have answered! Especially now…she's bound to be approaching puberty as it is."

"Alanna," Eleni heaved a long-suffering sigh. "Her experience will not be the same as yours was. She-"

"I know that, I'm just saying-"

"Don't interrupt!" Alanna's mouth snapped closed and she felt heat rush to her face in embarrassment and a small amount of anger. She breathed hard through her nose.

"Fine, Mother," she bit out. "I'm listening." Eleni eyed her sharply. They walked in silence for a while longer as Alanna waited knowing better than to push even though it was her first instinct.

Finally, Eleni began again. "Her experience will not be the same as yours. First, she is there openly as a girl. She will not have to hide her body's changes the way you did. Second, she has a mother with whom she is close, or so I am told. That makes a difference. And third, I have also heard that she has a maid this year, not very far off from her own age, who I am sure will aid Keladry as well." Alanna began to open her mouth to interject, saw the steely glint in Eleni's eye, and shut it again. "She does not and will not need your guidance for that. Yes, it may have been nice to impart to her how you straddle the line of lady and warrior, but she has many resources you did not have. The Great Mother will not leave her unattended. You know this."

"I know it," Alanna huffed.

"Besides, what you needed from those extending help and what she will need are undoubtedly different. She is not you and she is in a much different boat."

Alanna thought Eleni was taking her remonstrance a bit far, but decided she could endure the conversation a little longer. As it was, they were nearing the end of their walk and hunt for herbs for Eleni's kit. Alanna had not had a mother for a long time, and Maude could only do so much. Eleni had been there with her gentle hands, soothing patience, and practical, straightforward ways when Alanna had needed her.

The slight twinge of her knee took her back to her adolescence.

" _Don't stride about like there's something between your legs, Alanna." The woman did not mince her words, but she did temper them with a smile._

 _The girl whirled around in impatience about to start across the room again when everything seemed to happen at once. The fabric caught and pulled away from Alanna uncomfortably. Frustrated beyond belief, she yanked. And then she fell. Figurines scattered, and one clay bauble found her knee through the thin fabric of the dress. Alanna went cold then hot, and cried out in anger and embarrassment. She stayed on the floor regaining her composure. She had been – was still – so determined to be a knight. She had clawed her way to victory through the years, and here she was starting from scratch all over again – but for what? Her eyes prickled traitorously as humiliation washed through her. Surely, she would be laughed at and not wanted. Why did this look effortless on other women like Delia? Everything from choosing clothes to walking was a trial. Was any of it worth it?_

 _There were times here at Eleni's and in the market that she felt pretty and feminine as well as strong and capable. Though it was confusing, she felt a reiteration of that from George's eyes. But then, she would hold herself up to other women of the court and find herself lacking. And lacking what? She had worked harder than they had certainly to achieve her dreams. She_ had _dreams beyond finding a husband, she told herself smugly even as another part of herself frowned at her own judgmental nature. Yet, as Jon flirted with those women who were coy and collected and even nice, Alanna felt the pride she had taken in a feminine city excursion shrink and shrivel until it was almost laughably small. But she was still here at Eleni's taking lessons._

 _She sighed, lifted herself, and turned to George's mother only to look somewhere over her shoulder. She felt that direct eye contact would break her just now._

" _My dear," Eleni began. "Learning-" The woman stopped, frowning at her own words. She seemed to have realized trite reassurances, though easy, were not necessary or wanted at the moment. "There's nothing I can say that will make it easier. But the Goddess loves all her daughters and wants all her daughters to love themselves as well. Rather than an exception, I think you should take it doubly to heart." Eleni beckoned Alanna back to the table, and while the younger woman approached, the elder turned to the cabinet behind her._

" _I know you already have some things at the palace, locked away for practice there." Eleni was almost whispering now, as if Alanna was a horse about to bolt. "But I would like for you to take this, and keep it there as well…if you want. If not I will not bear you any ill will." The older woman's face was visibly unsure of Alanna's receptiveness to the gift she was now offering in her outstretched hand. "You have received many kits before, for the care and keeping of your gear, but I would like you to have this one. It's something I – perhaps foolishly – crafted for a non-existent girl child."_

 _The prickling behind her eyes was back, and Alanna stared at the box intently to avoid any further washes of emotion. It was a wooden box inlaid with a small mosaic on the lid. The mosaic showed a rosebud and a mature rose. Alanna thought that although she detested roses in general, the workmanship was beautiful. Eleni handed it to her, and she opened it gently. What was inside? More jewelry? Hair combs? Embroidered handkerchiefs? Those seemed like the kind of thing a woman would keep in storage for a girl to come of age to Alanna. She hoped they weren't ear bobs as she didn't see how she would ever manage to have her ears pierced without being questioned as a squire._

" _I know it's not much and it may seem silly," Eleni offered hesitantly and that more than anything told Alanna how important this box was to her. Eleni never sounded like this around her. "But it was what I imagined giving a girl when her body began to change and she became a woman." Eleni stopped, and added with a chuckle, "Obviously it's a little late in that sense for you, but…"_

 _Inside the box, Alanna saw no jewelry or even hair combs. After what Eleni had said, she'd half expected to find yards and yards of cloth for monthlies. What she found was the makings of a young woman's daily routine. Everything was labeled with instructions. There was a soap for her face that promised to help erase and prevent hormonal spots and blemishes – use twice daily. There was a stick that said it was infused with bay leaf and hyssop and was to be rubbed under her arms after bathing. Powder, witch hazel, and a stone to be rubbed on her feet followed. There seemed to be a second layer to the box but Alanna thought she would look at the rest later. For now, she closed the top of the box and thought that this was the kind of thing Coram hadn't thought to give her but that Maude would have. It was the kind of thing that she would have taken for granted at the convent. It was something she would have been embarrassed at being given by her mother undoubtedly, if her mother had been alive to give it to her. But here and now with Eleni, Alanna could only feel warmth filling her from her soul on up. Other women and girls had been given this kit – a basic set of tools to keep themselves. And now she had one for herself. The embarrassment of the fall and her feelings of inadequacy subsided as she looked at Eleni, whose own eyes glittered, and said tremulously, "thank you."_

Alanna came back to herself and realized she could hear her mother-in-law huffing a bit behind her. Lost in her wool gathering, she had stridden ahead of her companion by some yards. She stopped and waited, then held out her arm. Eleni glanced at it from the side of her eye before responding to the unvoiced question with a smirk, " _I'm_ not the one who fell down, Alanna."

The small, red-headed knight laughed brightly even as her knee twinged a little. "No, you're right, but all the same." Eleni smiled and took Alanna's arm good naturedly. As they continued on in companionable silence toward the lightening of the trees, Alanna thought about what the woman next to her had said. Kel's needs were not her own. She undoubtedly didn't need Alanna to tell her about her changing body or even her hygiene. Perhaps she would even be embarrassed to have such a chat with her when her mother had already given her the kit Alanna had cherished from Eleni's hand. No, as had been pointed out to her, Kel's needs were much different than her own.

Instead Alanna thought about the Mindelan fief, how it had already supplied the realm with three knights, a not insubstantial financial task, and how it was presenting two young women at court, another strain. She pondered her adolescent mortification when she hadn't known how or had the tools to care for a woman's body and wondered what would discomfit Keladry and what her parents might be unable to provide that she could give.

As the two women broke into the sunshine, Alanna gave Eleni a gentle squeeze about the shoulders that elicited a warm but questioning look from her mother. Alanna shrugged, and they walked on as she mentally began assembling her own toolkit for Keladry – perhaps Raven Armory sold such a kit…


End file.
